Dean shook his head. The words stuck in his throat. Talking wasn't Dean's strong point. At least not talking about anything that mattered. He took a deep breath and decided to take the round about way to telling her. It took longer but it was a lot easier than coming right out and saying it.
"One time Sammy I hit on this Dijinn. People were disappearing and so we went hunting it. Sammy was asleep and I figured out where it was so I went without him. He doesn't always sleep a lot. Anyway...Dijinn's don't grant wishes. They just make you think they grant them when really they hang you up on some meat hooks and drain your blood little at a time, only you never know it. You think you're in the world with you greatest wish coming true. So this Dijinn touches me and my whole the one thing I wished was Mom hadn't died. I thought if she hadn't died, we'd have this perfect apple pie life," Dean started. He took another breath, pausing for a moment before continuing.
"I thought Dad would be happy and Mom would have been there and Sammy would be in law school at Stanford, married to Jess. And it was like that...sort of. Dad died of a stroke playing softball. He was happy and Mom was...she made the best sandwiches I've ever had and Sammy was at Stanford Law and he'd ask Jess to marry him." Dean paused again and swiped at his eyes.
"I even got something out of the deal. El Sol beer used to have this ad with this pretty girl lying on a beach. In that wish, she loved me. She was a nurse and she wanted a future with me. She wanted a family with me."
He shook his head, a bitter twist coming to his mouth before he went on. "Of course as fucked up as I am, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I kept seeing this girl. She looked half dead and I started researching. All those people we saved...they died because Sam and I weren't there to save them. All the people Dad saved...they died. And Sam and I...we talked on holidays and birthdays."
He stopped and glanced over at Sam. He could see the muscle in Sam's neck jumping and he knew he wasn't asleep but it didn't matter anymore.
"So anyway...I left and there are things about my life that I wouldn't trade for anything but that doesn't mean that I don't still want other things."
no subject
"One time Sammy I hit on this Dijinn. People were disappearing and so we went hunting it. Sammy was asleep and I figured out where it was so I went without him. He doesn't always sleep a lot. Anyway...Dijinn's don't grant wishes. They just make you think they grant them when really they hang you up on some meat hooks and drain your blood little at a time, only you never know it. You think you're in the world with you greatest wish coming true. So this Dijinn touches me and my whole the one thing I wished was Mom hadn't died. I thought if she hadn't died, we'd have this perfect apple pie life," Dean started. He took another breath, pausing for a moment before continuing.
"I thought Dad would be happy and Mom would have been there and Sammy would be in law school at Stanford, married to Jess. And it was like that...sort of. Dad died of a stroke playing softball. He was happy and Mom was...she made the best sandwiches I've ever had and Sammy was at Stanford Law and he'd ask Jess to marry him." Dean paused again and swiped at his eyes.
"I even got something out of the deal. El Sol beer used to have this ad with this pretty girl lying on a beach. In that wish, she loved me. She was a nurse and she wanted a future with me. She wanted a family with me."
He shook his head, a bitter twist coming to his mouth before he went on. "Of course as fucked up as I am, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I kept seeing this girl. She looked half dead and I started researching. All those people we saved...they died because Sam and I weren't there to save them. All the people Dad saved...they died. And Sam and I...we talked on holidays and birthdays."
He stopped and glanced over at Sam. He could see the muscle in Sam's neck jumping and he knew he wasn't asleep but it didn't matter anymore.
"So anyway...I left and there are things about my life that I wouldn't trade for anything but that doesn't mean that I don't still want other things."