Dean Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dudeimbatman) wrote2009-04-22 10:39 pm
dudeimbatman) wrote2009-04-22 10:39 pm
Entry tags:
All the advocates say it [Have the safe sex talk with your kids]
[What we've got here is failure to communicate.
COOL HAND LUKE]
It started out with Claire being a smart ass. At least Dean thought she was being a smart ass when he’d caught her sneaking into Sam’s room. He’d been mostly joking with her when he’d told her to use a condom. She’d managed to horrify him by responding “but pulling out is so much easier!”
The more Dean thought about it the more worried he’d become that it wasn’t just Claire being a smart ass. She was barely eighteen and from what Sammy said, had been a virgin. Virgins were tricky. He tended to avoid them whenever possible. He spent most of the next day trying to catch Sam alone, finally resorting to pulling him out of the kitchen where he was ‘helping’ Claire with her homework.
“Dean…what’s wrong?” Sam asked as he sat down on the couch, perched a bit on the edge, obviously braced for the worst.
In response, Dean pulled a box of condoms out of his jacket pocket and tossed the box at Sam, hitting him in the forehead.
“Ow!” Sam said, rubbing at his forehead. He smeared blood across it. “Dude, that hurt.”
“Quit being a whiny bitch,” Dean responded. “What the hell happened to double bagging? Do you not remember this conversation?”
“Yeah, I was twelve and you didn’t hit me so hard with the box of condoms,” Sam scowled.
“Big target, couldn’t miss. Want a Hello Kitty band-aid?” Dean smirked at him.
“No,” Sam grumbled and wiped his hand on his jeans. Blood smeared there but his forehead had stopped bleeding.
“What the fuck is this pull out shit? You get her pregnant and Brooke will beat my ass so bad I won’t be able to stop her from cutting off things of yours.”
“…I don’t…pull-WHAT?” Sam was giving him that thoroughly confused, what the hell are you talking about,-did aliens abduct my brother or is he possessed look he rarely got.
“Dude…she told me. You’re totally busted,” Dean told him with a roll of his eyes.
“God dammit, Dean-“
“What the hell are you God damning me for? You’re the one with the rubber phobia,” Dean volleyed back.
“I do not have a rubber phobia!” Sam argued, pitching his voice a bit too loud and high before bringing it back down. “Dean, I use a condom. Every time.”
“Sammy, I know. I’ve heard the whole ‘but it feels better’ argument. And at the time I know you’re thinking ‘hell yeah it does’ but-“
“Dean, stop,” Sam ordered, burying his face in his hands. “Claire and I never even discuss not using a condom. She doesn’t want kids and since I’m the anti-Christ, I think it’s advisable for me not to have kids.”
“I’m going to hit you in your face,” Dean said, getting to his feet. “You are not the friggin’ anti-Christ. You’re some idiot kid who thinks pulling out is an effective form of birth control.”
“I do not-“ Sam finally stopped, thinning his lips. He was taking a deep breath and counting to 146 because counting to 10 had no effect.
“Clowns, Sammy. You’re scared of clowns, not condoms,” Dean told him.
That was when Sam heard Claire in the kitchen. At first he was afraid she was choking on something. The worried expression quickly faded to a smirk when he saw her sitting with her back against the wall, hands over her mouth and face red from the effort of not laughing.
“God Dammit, Jailbait…”
Sam handed the box of condoms over to Dean. “Don’t hit her as hard.”
COOL HAND LUKE]
It started out with Claire being a smart ass. At least Dean thought she was being a smart ass when he’d caught her sneaking into Sam’s room. He’d been mostly joking with her when he’d told her to use a condom. She’d managed to horrify him by responding “but pulling out is so much easier!”
The more Dean thought about it the more worried he’d become that it wasn’t just Claire being a smart ass. She was barely eighteen and from what Sammy said, had been a virgin. Virgins were tricky. He tended to avoid them whenever possible. He spent most of the next day trying to catch Sam alone, finally resorting to pulling him out of the kitchen where he was ‘helping’ Claire with her homework.
“Dean…what’s wrong?” Sam asked as he sat down on the couch, perched a bit on the edge, obviously braced for the worst.
In response, Dean pulled a box of condoms out of his jacket pocket and tossed the box at Sam, hitting him in the forehead.
“Ow!” Sam said, rubbing at his forehead. He smeared blood across it. “Dude, that hurt.”
“Quit being a whiny bitch,” Dean responded. “What the hell happened to double bagging? Do you not remember this conversation?”
“Yeah, I was twelve and you didn’t hit me so hard with the box of condoms,” Sam scowled.
“Big target, couldn’t miss. Want a Hello Kitty band-aid?” Dean smirked at him.
“No,” Sam grumbled and wiped his hand on his jeans. Blood smeared there but his forehead had stopped bleeding.
“What the fuck is this pull out shit? You get her pregnant and Brooke will beat my ass so bad I won’t be able to stop her from cutting off things of yours.”
“…I don’t…pull-WHAT?” Sam was giving him that thoroughly confused, what the hell are you talking about,-did aliens abduct my brother or is he possessed look he rarely got.
“Dude…she told me. You’re totally busted,” Dean told him with a roll of his eyes.
“God dammit, Dean-“
“What the hell are you God damning me for? You’re the one with the rubber phobia,” Dean volleyed back.
“I do not have a rubber phobia!” Sam argued, pitching his voice a bit too loud and high before bringing it back down. “Dean, I use a condom. Every time.”
“Sammy, I know. I’ve heard the whole ‘but it feels better’ argument. And at the time I know you’re thinking ‘hell yeah it does’ but-“
“Dean, stop,” Sam ordered, burying his face in his hands. “Claire and I never even discuss not using a condom. She doesn’t want kids and since I’m the anti-Christ, I think it’s advisable for me not to have kids.”
“I’m going to hit you in your face,” Dean said, getting to his feet. “You are not the friggin’ anti-Christ. You’re some idiot kid who thinks pulling out is an effective form of birth control.”
“I do not-“ Sam finally stopped, thinning his lips. He was taking a deep breath and counting to 146 because counting to 10 had no effect.
“Clowns, Sammy. You’re scared of clowns, not condoms,” Dean told him.
That was when Sam heard Claire in the kitchen. At first he was afraid she was choking on something. The worried expression quickly faded to a smirk when he saw her sitting with her back against the wall, hands over her mouth and face red from the effort of not laughing.
“God Dammit, Jailbait…”
Sam handed the box of condoms over to Dean. “Don’t hit her as hard.”
ooc -
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She brings it on herself.
ETA: Also, Claire wants to know why Sam talked about her being a virgin. Not cool, Sam. Not cool.
Re: ooc -