dudeimbatman | 22nd Hunt [Accidental Video] Here comes the next contestant

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22nd Hunt [Accidental Video] Here comes the next contestant

[Dean standing in a throng of girls. He's got both hands out and he's trying to make some space for himself.]

Alright, ladies. If you'll just step back, give me your names and we'll go from there. There's plenty of me to go around.

[One girl shoves her way through and hands him a marker. She pulls aside the strap of her tank top.]

Why yes, I will sign your breast. Anyone else here with that same request?

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You do, but it's fairly safe to say you don't realize it.

I'm good. I'm also a bitch. I'm not fair, and one of your favorite songs by Bon Jovi features my boyfriend and me in the title.

Gotta say, I'm coming up a little blank but I'm working on it. Any chance there's a saying about you that ends in 'and then you die'?

See, now you're getting it. That generally comes in with the part about being a bitch, I've found.

Yeah I've also heard it sucks and then you die.

Unfortunately not usually in the way anyone wants things to suck.

I did say I'm good, remember?

And it's not "it", thank you. It's "she".

Sometimes, Sweetheart. Sometimes. I gotta say I'm not hating you right now.

Sorry. I'll remember that next time.

I try, Pookie. I try. And just remember to mind those manners of yours, because you and I both know I can fuck you over in an instant without batting an eye if I want to. And I'm fickle enough to do it, too. Sweetheart.

So talk to me about Sammy.

Ouch. Who knew Life had PMS.

What about Sam?

Don't make me repeat myself, kay?

How's he doing? You've devoted your whole life to protecting him. It's my business to know.

He's...doing alright. I think he's happy here. Most of the time. I'm trying. It's working better here then it did out there.

I know. It's a mess back there. And I can't make any promises about what's waiting for you when you get back.

Now tell me about you.

I don't expect any. And I mean that without sarcasm.

I'm fine. [It's a standard, pat, quickly-given answer. It's also a lie]

You never do. That's the beauty of free will, isn't it? No promises. Nothing but the path you make for yourself.

Like hell you are.

Go Team Free Will.

I'm still standing. Sam's doing alright. I count that as fine.

I'm certainly a fan of it.

Yeah, and all that proves is that the standard by which you define "fine" is bullshit. Don't lie to me, Dean.

Glad someone high up is.

Fuck. Fine. I'm...I don't know. I'm tired of fucking up. I'm tired of--never getting ahead. I'm tired of always being the one who gets the fucking short end of the stick and I'm tired of having to settle for less than any frickin' person should have to settle for. I'm not fine. I'm tired

That better?

Edited 2010-07-12 03:25 (UTC)

Less high up and more all-encompassing. Even I've still got Eternity hanging over my head, you know. And just because I'm the favorite doesn't mean I get any special favors.

It's a start. At least you can manage to be honest with somebody.

I can't do much for you around here, kiddo, but there is a gift I can give you, if you'll let me.

Yeah yeah. Got it. You're strapped and fucked just like the humans are.

Honesty doesn't get you anywhere. It just makes you feel like shit because everything is more real when you say it out loud. Not to mention it makes everyone around you feel like shit too.

I don't expect you to be able to fix things. That's on me to do. What sort of gift?

Enough to understand. Which is what really matters, isn't it?

And lying doesn't get you anywhere that you really want to go. First it's just one lie. Sure, that's not hurting anything, right? Maybe it's even protecting somebody. Nothing wrong with that. But then it's another. And then another. And then pretty soon you've wrapped up the truth so tight in all those lies that it can't move, can't get out--but it's still there, deep down in your chest, fluttering and wriggling.

Honesty gets you somewhere. It's better in the end, but it hurts a hell of a lot more along the way.

I guess it is.

While we're being honest, you and I both know I'm not going to live long enough for the lies to catch up to me so I'd rather avoid the hurt as long as possible.

I know. But you're already running from so much other stuff. Why add even more to the list of things trying to catch up with you?

This isn't me trying to tell you what to do. I do care about you, you know, even though a lot of times it seems like I'm never cutting you a break.

Because who am I supposed to talk to? Sam's got enough shit on his plate. Cas is dealing with his own personal Hell. Anna doesn't really give a fuck anymore because now she's a real live angel.

No I get it. I do. You've got a whole...mom vibe about you. In a really good way.

[It's been at least a year since he's had one of those.]

No nightmares?

No nightmares. Just sleep. I can do that much.

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