Dude, I'm batman

So hey...I'm Dean Winchester and I'm the new chief of police. Some of you know me and you know I'm not great at following the rules or going by the book so I'm not gonna try. We've got people from all over the damn place here and I don't see much sense in imposing my laws on everyone. Not like I paid much attention to them back home anyway. Trying to enforce them here just makes me a hypocritical dick so here's what we're gonna do. The police force is going to try to keep people safe. You guys have got to pitch in because I'm awesome but I can't keep a whole City safe even with an entire police force helping out. That means new law. Real simple:

Don't be a dick.

Yup. That's pretty much it. Don't be a dick.

I know some of you have problems with that. Cas, I'm looking at you, so I'm gonna outline it for you. Don't do anything to anybody that you wouldn't want me to turn right around and do to you. If you're a sick bastard, lemme know right now. Chances are I'm gonna find out about it anyway.

I don't want me or my police officers running around wiping your ass. I've got better things to do like save people so that's what we're gonna try. If you want to pitch in, let me know. We can always use the help.

And don't call me Chief. That's Beckett or Cam. I'm just Dean.

[Police Filter]

If you don't want to work for me, I understand. If you do, I'd appreciate you sticking around.

[Police Broadcast--Open voice]

I know things have settled down in the City and it seems to have gotten back to whatever the hell passes for normal here. That doesn't mean let your guard down. The police have had reports of a guy with a sword running people through so be careful and smart. Go out in groups. That sorta crap. If you see anything suspicious, let us know. Consider yourself part of the Neighborhood Watch program.

[Private Police Filter]

I'm gonna stick with the Underground. We need to make sure topside is getting some love too.

The deities have a point about blood, sacrifice and ritual.

I think we oughta buckle down for something big.

Get some extra rock salt. Never hurts. Fill your gun with silver bullets and hey if you believe in the dickwad named God, might not hurt to pray to him.

[The device is sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala. For once the music is off. Dean is parked outside watching an impromptu baseball game between a father and his son. He grips the wheel of the Impala tightly so that his knuckles turn white. When he starts speaking it's softly.]

All I ever really wanted was Sam to get a normal life. To play baseball with our Dad. Do boy scout things with him--I don't even know what the hell boy scout things are but I wanted Sam to get to do it. Instead he got me staying up all night 'til I figured out soccer. We were never in one place long enough for Sam to join boy scouts.


People don't appreciate their normal lives. They don't realize how god damn lucky they are so they take it all for granted. I can teach the kid to play baseball later. I can skip boy scouts because there's a meeting next week. I can mow the lawn tomorrow. Or worse they bitch 'cause their lives are boring. They've gotta do this or that or something else.

Screw you all. You got to raise your kids the way you wanted to. You had time with them. You weren't crawling into bed with them holding a loaded shotgun at three in the morning because monsters are real and you're the only one there to protect them. You're not assuring your kid brother that he'll make new friends or stealing a bike that you're gonna have to leave behind when you move again.

[He shakes his head, cranks the car and pulls away from the curb]

It's all bullshit. You ought to appreciate the hell outta what you got.

[ooc: Dean is cursed with envy]

If you think physical pain doesn't last and isn't as fucktacularly painful as emotional pain then you haven't been in it long enough and you haven't had someone causing it that really knows what they're doing.

And you all better cross your fingers that Sammy and I manage to save the world.